


Sunrise

by Inkwasher (inkstainedwretch)



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-16 23:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5844484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkstainedwretch/pseuds/Inkwasher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Normandy joins them behind the veil, Tali decides she's done wasting time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunrise

**Author's Note:**

> For Mass Effect Femslash Week on tumblr.

She didn’t say anything on the SR-1 because there was nothing to say. Her mind hadn’t woken up to the possibility that such feelings were not only possible, but could ever be acted on. They were busy, they were frightened, they were fugitives on the run…and then her pilgrimage was complete, and it was time to go back to the flotilla and show her people what she’d done with herself.

On her last day aboard, Shepard came down to Engineering to say goodbye, and she hugged her for a lot longer than Tali had expected her to. Even then, even when she had finally pulled back and let Tali see the soft sorrow in her eyes, she hadn’t thought much of it.

When the news that Shepard was dead got back to her, Tali finally realized what she’d lost.

She didn’t say anything while they chased the Collectors. She almost did, but she backtracked horribly and never let herself talk to Shepard again. It wasn’t because Shepard was a woman, or because she was human, or because Tali was still trying to make sense of a world without her father. The combination of the three, however, was enough to tip the scales toward silence.

When they crossed the Omega-4 relay, she wanted to say something so badly her heart ached with it, but the crash of explosions outside told her it was too late.

When the Normandy joins them behind the veil, Tali decides she’s done wasting time. Shepard invites her up to her cabin, and together they talk war and politics and how the hell they were going to manage fighting a war against an unknowably powerful enemy. Shepard looks so tired, and Tali knows she must be feeling even more pressure right now than she does, herself.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Shepard says, her voice worn and rough.

She leans against the glass of her fish tank, looking at her like she’s some precious gift from the galaxy, like it doesn’t matter that she’s buried up to her neck in politics and can’t see a way out. Her eyes are so kind, it almost hurts. The cold ship lights throw her face into shadow, and for the first time Tali realizes it's perfectly possible that Shepard feels just as lost as she does.

“I’m glad to be here,” she replies, and it doesn’t feel like enough. “You have no idea how good it feels to be back.”

“I…screw it,” Shepard sighs, and she steps forward just quickly enough for Tali to be worried, but then she feels warm human hands on her shoulders and everything is right.

“I’ve missed you,” Shepard continues. “A lot. And I think we left something unfinished before the Omega-4 Relay, and…no matter which way it goes, I’m done leaving things unsaid.”

“Shepard…” Tali shakes her head, knowing if she laughs it’ll just confuse her. “You’re right. Keelah, we’re fighting the biggest war in history, and I’m fidgeting like some kid out on pilgrimage.”

“Nothing like a galaxy-wide disaster to put things into perspective,” Shepard laughs.

“Exactly,” she sighs softly, and suddenly the danger they’re both in feels so _real_.

There’s so much she wants to say, and now it feels like she’ll never have enough time to say it. She wraps her arms around Shepard’s shoulders and pulls her close, as close as they can get. Her helmet is designed to be as light and thin as possible, the result of centuries of craftsmanship and technological advancement. It feels like a prison.

“I should have said something,” she begins, “should have said something else before we hit the relay. I was just so _scared_. I was almost more afraid of what would happen if you _did_ feel the same way than if you didn’t.”

“What about now?” Shepard’s fingers squeeze gently, small points of pressure through the fabric of her suit.

“Now I’m just afraid this will be over before it even starts.”

Tali tucks her head into Shepard’s neck, mindful of the cables and hard edges she wishes so badly she could get rid of.

“I wanted so badly to reach out to you sooner,” she whispers. “Ever since I went back to the Flotilla, I haven’t gone a single day without thinking about you. I just knew if I tried to contact you, the other Admirals would think…well, you know what I mean now.”

“Unfortunately,” Shepard chuckles softly, and the sound resonates deep in her chest. “You know, after you took Veetor back to the Flotilla, I thought I’d lost you for good. I thought you’d never trust me again…and I didn’t really blame you.”

“Of course I trusted you,” Tali smiles softly. “That’s when I knew it was really you. If you were just some imitation Cerberus had come up with, you wouldn’t have let Veetor come with us.”

She feels tears sting the edge of her eyes and hopes it doesn’t show in her voice.

“After you…after the SR-1 crashed, I…” she clings to Shepard even tighter and takes a deep breath. “I’m so glad to be back here. Whatever happens next…I’m thankful for this.”

A small chime tells her someone’s at Shepard’s door; they’ve taken all the time they can, and outside the war rages on.

The inside of the dreadnought is cramped and confusing, filled to bursting with geth that keep getting harder to fight. When they find Legion, Shepard greets them like an old friend, because they are one. Despite her father’s voice echoing in her ears, telling her how she’s undoing everything he fought for, she’s glad to see them. This is Shepard’s influence, and she’s alright with that, but it would be so much easier to fight this war without it.

The sands of Rannoch are painted soft and shining by the sunrays. She looks out on the vast expanse of land, wild and welcoming, and wonders what it will be like to share it with the geth. The day has been long and unforgiving, but the sunset before her looks so much like dawn.

The wind flows over her face, burrowing into the spaces under her hood. Everything seems so near, so _real_.

“I almost can’t believe it,” she whispers.

“Me either,” Shepard smiles at her, and Tali wants to capture the color of her eyes, keep it somewhere safe where it will never be lost.

A strand of her hair escapes its knot, fluttering gently in the wind, and before she can do anything Shepard has already reached up and tucked it back into place. All at once, Tali’s suit feels stiflingly warm.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy,” Shepard murmurs. “You look so beautiful.”

Tali doesn’t say anything, because if she does it’ll just come out all wrong. Instead, she leans in close and kisses Shepard, just once, soft and gentle. She’s not expecting Shepard to pull her close and kiss her again, but she welcomes it.

When they’re far, far away from the war, and the Normandy’s lights dim down for the night cycle, Tali answers all of the questions she’s never been brave enough to ask. She learns what Shepard looks like under all that armor, how her voice sounds when she can’t seem to catch her breath, how it feels to have her fingers (so _many_ of them) slip beneath the plates of her suit.

Shepard’s hair is still wet, dripping pinpricks of cold onto them both, but Tali doesn’t mind. The water has washed away all of the dust and ash and blood, so when Tali drags her tongue across the crook of Shepard’s neck, all she can taste is the warm tang of life.

She can’t bring herself to put her helmet back on right away. She’s sure Shepard won’t mind her resting her head on her chest either way, but she’s also sure she won’t be able to hear her heartbeat with metal and glass between them.

“When this is all done,” Shepard asks her, the shifting blue shields above them dancing across her face, “will you go back to Rannoch?”

“I will,” Tali takes her hand, finds it easier than she thought to twine their fingers together, “but only if you’ll be there with me.”

“I’d love that,” Shepard’s eyes slip closed, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

Though she doesn’t tell her for a long while, Tali always remembers this moment as the point that she realized Rannoch may be her homeworld, but this was her home.


End file.
